'Allo 'Allo

The Stage Artz Theatre Company is proud to present ‘Allo ‘Allo by Jeremy Lloyd & David Croft in February 2008. Auditions will be held on Wednesday 24th October at 7pm at Mackellar Performance Space, Campbell Pde, Manly Vale. Based on the hugely popular TV series, the stage version of 'Allo 'Allo follows the adventures of Rene, the hapless cafe owner in war torn France, as he and his wife Edith struggle to keep for themselves a priceless portrait of the Fallen Madonna with the big boobies by Van Klomp, stolen by the Nazis and kept in their cellar in a knockwurst sausage. Rene, working with the French Resistance is hiding two British airmen in his cellar as well. To add to this dilemma communications with London is by way of a radio disguised as a cockatoo. This causes embarrassing moments for Rene and the cafe patrons as well. Matters come to a head when the Fuhrer decides to visit the cafe. Tricksters impersonating Hitler invade before his arrival causing chaos. Will Rene be able to save his cafe, or his staff, or his wife, or his life....? Auditioning actors will be asked to read from the script. There are four different "languages" (French, German, Italian and English) spoken by the characters… actors should represent each "language" with English spoken in a theatrical foreign accent. We would like actors to attempt accents at the audition. For more information on the characters and storyline, the script can be purchased through Dominie at Brookvale (call first to order the script so they can collect it from the warehouse) or the TV Series is available on DVD at the ABC shop. Alternatively, you can look it up on Youtube as there are several full episodes on there for you to watch so as to get an idea of the characters and setting - although not all of the original characters appear in the stage play. The cast list is: Rene Artois – The local café proprietor, whilst trying to remain impartial, René has been brought into the war on both sides. The Germans are threatening to shoot him if he does not secretly hide stolen valuable paintings; the Resistance are using his café as a safe-house for shot down British airmen; and on top of that, he is trying to keep his passionate love affairs with the café serving girls secret from his wife. Edith Artois – René's wife, and the café's resident cabaret performer. However, her singing is so bad and tuneless the locals stick cheese in their ears to block out the terrible sound. Whilst René refers to her as stupid, she is also the subject of much romantic wooing by the Italian, Captain Alberto Bertorelli. Yvette Carte-Blanch – A waitress at the café. She is in love with René, and wants to elope with him, but is unable due to René having to stay loyal to his wife. She is also responsible for entertaining the German officers, upstairs at the café with the wet celery and the flying helmet. Mimi Labonq – Another waitress at the café. She too is in love with René. She has no idea that Rene also loves Yvette, and also believes that Rene should run away with her. She is also a secret agent for the Resistance who has a bloodthirsty hate of the Germans, with a secret mission to kill the “German swines” - often after wooing them. Roger Leclerc – The Resistance's forger, and master of disguises. He is responsible for delivering various goods of batteries, bombs and radio equipment to the café. This duty is undertaken by LeClerc in a variety of disguises. Upon delivery LeClerc always says "It is I, Leclerc"; accompanied by a raising of his glasses, presumably to reveal his identity. He seemed to think he was good at disguise even though he was always instantly recognisable no matter what he wore. Michelle of the Resistance - Leader of the local French Resistance, she is responsible for coming up with elaborate plans to help the British airmen escape, and plots for blowing up German ammunition trains and lorries. Whenever she concocts a plan, she gathers everyone around and issues her invariable instruction of "Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once" followed by issuing the vital information. Colonel Kurt Von Strohm – The town German commandant. He is kept occupied by hiding valuable local paintings and antiques, which he will sell after the war. He frequently visits the cafe, where the waitresses provide him with much entertainment. He always gets René to do his dirty work. He is overweight, stumbling and greedy. Captain Alberto Bertorelli – An Italian who has come to the local town, as Mussolini has joined in the war. He has an eye for the ladies and is known as a womaniser. Herr Otto Flick – The local Gestapo officer who tries to show as little emotion as possible. He fancies Helga Geerhart, whom he will marry after the war. He is the godson of Heinrich Himmler (Head of the Gestapo). He is known for his considerably exaggerated limp, and his frequent use of the word 'Gestapo' as an adjective: "My powerful Gestapo binoculars", "My Gestapo staff car", etc. Private Helga Geerhart – The Colonel's secretary, and lover of Herr Flick. She is well built, and known for a tendency to take off her clothes for usually tenuous reasons, showcasing a vast range of erotic lingerie. Helga's attempts to seduce Herr Flick usually have no effect on him. Typically these attempts include a particularly vigorous kiss. When announcing visitors to the Colonel's office, Helga always yells at the top of her voice. Lieutenant Hubert Gruber – A German officer on leave from the Russian front, with a crush on René. He has the effeminate manner of a stereotypical homosexual, and a "little tank", driven by the unseen Clarence. General Von Schmelling – A ruthless commander. He always threatens to have French peasants shot when the resistance attacks the German army. Officer Crabtree – A British spy posing as a French police officer. Unfortunately, he has a terrible grasp of French, which means that sometimes he is quite incomprehensible. Despite his almost incomprehensible speech, the Germans never seem to suspect him. RAF Flight Lts. Fairfax & Carstairs – Two British airmen trying to get back to England, having been shot down over France. After sticking their heads out from where they are hiding, they speak with exaggerated British accents. Piano Player – works in the café accompanying Edith Peasants & Soldiers If you require any further information please don't hesitate to contact the director, Sam Neaves, on sam@stageartz.com.au . Otherwise, start practicing your accents and we look forward to seeing you at the auditions.